I have wanted to do this a bit earlier, but it has been good to talk to a number of people about my first year, rather than do this and then have nothing to say. It has been very beneficial to talk through my reflections. I have even watched the Yirara College DVD about a dozen times as I have shown people where I am and what I have been doing. It is a recruitment DVD, but I haven’t had much luck. Although, we are having a number of people visit us this year, so book in quickly to avoid disappointment!! I have noticed I have not even had much chance to even talk to Belinda about it, so it has been a great opportunity for Belinda to hear what I have to say and then for me to listen to what she has got to say. I could even be bold enough to say we might even be on the same page.
A title is just a title, but then again, it can really sum up what has been on my mind for most of the year. Being like Jesus. It is very easy to say, very hard to put into practice. I don’t think being at Yirara or even living in Alice Springs makes any difference, but with the challenges and the isolation from all that I have ever known, it rings true. It is what I have held onto the whole year. Trying to get close to God, but not really making much of an effort except to learn (...no, learn makes it sound that I have to follow some sort of formula to get close to Jesus...), but accept that God is always with me, not because I pray, read the Bible or do something religious, but accept that I am already in a relationship with Him, learning from Him, getting guidance from Him, and even learning to accept (or just accepting) that I am always in His presence. I am constantly in a state of prayer with Him because He is always with me. Therefore, why set aside a time just to pray or just to read the Bible or just to do a devotion? These are all things I still do, however sporadically, but nonetheless, my attitude is that I want to fit into God’s plan, not fit God into mine. God is not on my side, I am on God’s side. It makes sense to me, I just am not sure if it makes much sense to anyone else. So my journey continues and I have enjoyed the chance to try out my ideas and thoughts with family, friends, ex-students and the new people I have met and talked to these holidays. I have been encouraged to find people who do know what I am trying to say and then move me onto the next issue. It at least changed my perspective for the year and was a great source of comfort when the times were tough.
The tough times came and went very quickly and moved on. I have not needed to do a famous Modlin debrief with anyone, I have let them pass and tried to force myself to believe that God
was there already, through the trials and tribulations I was experiencing, maybe fearing for my safety or the safety of others in my care, but also living with a confidence in my own ability, a confidence in my own ability to get out of a dangerous situation, to laugh at myself, the situation, and even just become a bit laid back and calm through it all.
There are 2 ways I have discovered or observed how to deal with situations at Yirara. To be aggressively assertive has its place. To have to learn to raise my voice with authority and clear direction can certainly become an asset. I am not sure I want it to become part of my nature and Kurtis and Elijah have heard me use that voice towards them some times, and I don’t like it when I do. Some of the actions I have taken this year have been out of necessity and fitting in a culture where apparently to “growl” exhibits the seriousness of a situation, but also the fact that so many kids have hearing infections and problems means you just have to make sure they can hear you.
The second aspect to this is the relationships I am hoping to build. It is my strength I think and you never have enough time to get alongside someone and really mentor or disciple them through a learning, teaching, guiding or discipline process. Even catching up and discussing life with ex-students is a hard enough job. A half an hour to hour catch up is never enough. I am blessed by the number of ex-students who make the time to catch up, challenge my thoughts and actions and so willingly share their life with me or just love “hang”. And the fine line is between knowing when to let someone live their life and learn from the choices they make or really try and pick up when they are crying out to be told just what to do, without judgement or a sense of trying to run, rule or lord it over their life. It happens with the ex-students I have taught, and just as much with the Yirara students- another thing that has nothing to do with race. I have often said that despite spending our whole life stretching or defying boundaries, we still love them or know that we need them. The same is for indigenous kids with very little schooling or boundaries themselves. You know they feel much safer and secure within a culture of boundaries, processes, traditions and rituals, but do love breaking them! And not all of these boundaries, processes, traditions and rituals are good for them, and even oppress them to a certain extent. We have a western culture that oppresses the indigenous, there is an aboriginal culture that oppresses and then Christianity is somewhere in the middle of this, offering hope, a way out and a move away from a consumerist, materialistic and individualistic culture (an incredibly selfish, greedy and aggressive culture), but also a way out of a culture where shame, fear and aggression control people. I believe with all my heart that Christianity and following Jesus is the way to go. Unfortunately, the type of Christianity I see, experience and partake in does not effectively deliver the answers to the two worlds I have placed myself and my family in (and it could be argued has oppressed the aborigines as well). I need to be clear on this. God has the answers, we (I) don’t always deliver the way we should. I am prepared to do my bit, and that is all I can do. Building a kingdom culture is a hard thing to do. May the revival come, but it comes when the revival happens in my heart.
It is hard to believe that we have made 1 year already. I now appreciate the time I have spent writing down my thoughts and feelings. I think in years to come it will help my family reflect on what we have done. I am no 10-30 year veteran in Alice Springs. The isolation, the T.I.A moments and also the NT moments (Not Today, Not Tomorrow, Not This week) can get you down, but on the other hand, life in Alice Springs slows down your thinking, your impatience and gives you time to appreciate life. I am someone who thinks he knows about culture shock, but the actual Alice Springs or indigenous culture does not really cause much shock to me; it is coming back to the east coast that causes the most shock.
I miss family and friends more than I let on, but it is the contacts (and at least the promise of visits!!) that keeps us out there and motivated to do what we feel called to do and on our journey as individuals and as a family.
Just enjoy the photos. I have tried not to comment too much....Although I do love having something to say. We took my Mum and Dad with us. I love this place. I can just sit, stare, contemplate and relax here just as much as I do staring out at the sea. I don't catch enough waves and so I do a lot of staring and contemplating out in the surf. Hopefully you will see the various fly nets my family wore. I spent the whole time bagging them for looking like a tourist. The 4 flies I swallowed while I was out here was worth it!
The photos that follow were taken over a half hour at sunset. Just thought they looked good with the different colour changes.
